While sitting in this space in the middle of the jungle, with a straw made out of reusable cardboard (little things that really fill me with happiness), beside a girl who has Moon Wisdom and Oracle Journal open in front of her..
I am reminded often how I have landed in a location on this Earth made for me, that fuels, fills, and molds me into the exact person I ache to be and become authentically.
“We have to dare to be ourselves, however frightening or strange that self may prove to be.” –May Sarton
Being able to sit on the beach with a girl I work with and adore for two straight hours going back and forth with dialog on how she’s been practicing manifesting in small steps, our shared belief that kindness can make anything possible, that love really is the answer. Just loving people, strangers, friends, coworkers hard and genuinely.
Walking down the street to head home, to find a group of fifty strangers standing around a musician who’s passion and talent is so impeccable that it doesn’t matter you have to be up at 530am, you cant imagine leaving before the last song is complete.
“Find ecstasy in life; the mere sense of living is joy enough.” —Emily Dickinson
For the year of prayer on how to find release and relief in the chronic pain I’ve lived with for almost five years, and finding myself living with a Reiki master and Bondi healer who I am preparing to do my first healing session with, that I feel in my gut is going to be the answer to eliminating the trauma and daily pain I carry.
To say I am thankful for these first five weeks, is really an injustice to how deep of thanks I feel.
Australia has transformed me, in a way I can only explain as, I’ve been this young girl who has been trying to figure out where she belongs, what she should be doing with her energy and spirit, why some poeple liked her and why some couldnt stand her, and how to make the ones who didn’t care for her like her.
“If you look to others for fulfillment, you will never be fulfilled. If your happiness depends on money, you will never be happy with yourself. Be content with what you have; rejoice in the way things are. When you realize there is nothing lacking, the world belongs to you.” Lao Tzu
But now, being bloomed into this woman. No longer a young naive girl, just getting by and looking for acceptance.
But this strong, fierce, confident, gentle being who geninuely just wants to give love to every human that contact is made with. Wanting to help make every persons life just a little softer, a little brighter, even if its just a smile as we pass on the street. With this true understanding I will never be every persons cup of tea, many people in the rest of my days will still not be able to stand me:
for how loud I can be. for how direct I can be. for my bossy nature. for how I don’t know how to shut up sometimes. for how I am the worst at saying please, but am whole hearted with my thank yous. for how naïve I can come across.
but those same qualities that some could find to be unbearable about me, I have learned my people, the people meant to be apart of my life, see in such a different light.
my loudness is my passion and enthusiasm coming through. my directness stems from my confident on what I am speaking about, through trial and error, lesson and failure. my ability to see your and respect your perspective. my bossy nature, being my leadership mentality. my nature to be too chatty is my desire to form these experiences and relationships with the most loveliest souls. i still dont know why i suck with pleases, it isnt because im rude, i just have always been such a big thanker instead of a pleaser? haha.
“I know of nothing more valuable, when it comes to the all-important virtue of authenticity, than simply being who you are.” –-Charles R. Swindoll
and such a big lesson ive had to learn and relearn again & again is, the ones who don’t care for you, really is not personal on you. reread that sentence for me. it isn’t personal on you. you aren’t flawed, or wrong, or need to change. be you. unless youre an as*hole. then you should probably considering working on that. ha.
Australia has taught me this incredible lesson that if you believe in yourself fiercly, the world is YOURS. Manifesting becomes real and easy. The amount I have manifested in this country is insane, if you want to chat more about that let me know!
My first two weeks in this town, a town that it is quite challenging to find work in, I landed two jobs, in which could have been very against the idea of working with eachother to schedule no conflict of shifts, could have as easily found another eager employee with full availability, but both places were remarkably open to allow me to work around eachother allowing me to get 45 hours a week.
My first three weeks working in this country, I had absolutely no f*cking clue what I was doing. Seriously. I had really no training in my morning restaurant as I joined in a point of huge transition for them I feel, and I felt like every shift I worked at the beginning I was by myself or with a brand new person, and was just thrown into the deep end, with everyone waving from the shore, sink or swim b*tch.
Which I am so thankful for, because it allowed me to learn quickly and learn hard.
I absolutely astonshied myself with how well and gracefully I landed. I am not really one to toot my own horn, but I killed it my first three weeks of learning how to work, speak, and survive in the restaruant industry in a foreign country. (who knew a language barrier could exist in an English speaking country)
And so much of the above came from believing in myself to truly figure it out, and being gentle on myself when some days where trickier than others.
“But failure has to be an option in art and in exploration–because it’s a leap of faith. And no important endeavor that required innovation was done without risk. You have to be willing to take those risks.” –James Cameron
One shift being thrown on as a barista where I really dont have much experience in, with two brand new staff members, and me being there a little over a week, and at one point having 25 coffees to make, and a line of customers to ring out. and who knows if the coffee tasted good that day, but I survived and carried on to my night time job with a smile and happiness.
Surviving those first three weeks proved to me my ability to adapt in a way I’ve never believed I could before. The amount my feet hurt almost everyday, I could have swam out into the sea and stayed there with the sharks forever. It was the worst pain I have maybe ever experienced, but I kept showing up.
Okay okay, im rambling AS always.
What’s the point? Wrap it up Kelsie!
You’re stronger, you’re smarter, you’re more resilient and adaptive than you could ever believe somedays.
Your fears are real, but do it anyway. Cus you probably won’t fail, but even if you ‘do’. Did you actually fail, or did you just learn something new and really great about yourself?
Find an unapologetic and unwavering confidence in yourself, seriously. Even if you dont believe in it right now, just make it up until it comes.
Remind yourself throughout the day, I am strong and badass and I CAN and WILL do this.
“Confidence is a habit that can be developed by acting as if you already had the confidence you desire to have.” –Brian Tracy
Eventually you wont have to remind yourself, it will just be your truth. Its my truth.
I just spent four weeks working two jobs, moving, and growing a business. A business in which I preform as little or as much I want and could have very easily let lapse a little while I got settled here, but instead I just got a promotion for the coaching I have done. Being rewarded in so many ways for the bard work I’ve showed up for. For the many many nights I woke up at 3am and worked through questions and answers, research studies, conference calls to share in a part of my life, this business, I believe in and want to share with the world. Unapologetically.
Because, I am strong I am baddass, I can I will and I have.
be kind. smile at strangers. love every person in your life way too hard. work hard. take time to sit and breathe. or write. or dance. or swim. or plant flowers. or just laugh. dont force anything, at all. if its meant for you, if you make an effort and nothing comes, its not for you, move on. dont force anything. listen to music that inspires and makes you feel good. give thanks/pray to whatever you believe is giving you this beautiful fluent life, and if you arent quite sure what you believe is guiding you, start exploring that part of your life. and surround yourself with people that are giving you goodness, and fullfillment. slowly elimante the people and experiences that fill you with anxiety and drama. and just let it go. all of it, the worry, the fear, the anger, the anxiousness, the rush, the poor attitude. just be light & let the hard sh*t roll.
those are the keys to life, just from me. share with me what youre doing that is giving you your very best life.
i love you i love YOU. thanks for sharing this space with me.