2 0 1 7 & being twenty five

“New Year’s Day. A fresh start. A new chapter in life waiting to be written. New questions to be asked, embraced, and loved. Answers to be discovered and then lived in this transformative year of delight and self-discovery. Today carve out a quiet interlude for yourself in which to dream, pen in hand. Only dreams give birth to change..”

Twenty five has been my favorite year, a year of the absolute most growth to date, a year of tough lessons.

Be helpful. When you see a person without a smile, give them yours – Zig Ziglar.

It was the first year in my life I was awake. I wasn’t in autopilot. I felt I felt ohhhh I felt.

I remember aching to feel emotion over utter beauty, I remember aching to feel overwhelmed by gratitude. What did that even look like?

To see a stunning sunset & to sit there and cry?

Now I attend yoga classes full of enchanting souls singing hallelujah as we flow, and find tears streaming down my face because my heart aches from how much gratitude I feel. 

I could truly explode some days with how beautiful this life really is.

Yeah, life is hard, & sometimes it’s harder than it isn’t- currently treading slowly through this hard period of life where I accept & understand the ways I contributed to the devastating ending of my relationship. 

“Life’s challenges are not supposed to paralyze you, they’re supposed to help you discover who you are.” – Bernice Johnson Reagon

But twenty five has proven to me how I can overcome the darkness, I can walk away when it is time, and I can keep my faith, and that my people and my faith will always keep me afloat.

twenty five has proved to me that I am flawed as actual f*ck & it’s just okay. IMG_6985[1]

Like I thought for twenty four years of my life my shit didn’t stink, that I knew it all, there wasn’t any aspect I needed to work on. And I mean, I still know it all depending on the day 😉 but I am now so moved by sitting and learn about other perspectives on life, on values, on individual truths. I live for it actually. I am constantly seeking my own truth, constantly shaping my values, which can only be done by doing the work & being open to new perspectives.

At twenty five, I finally gained the openness and capacity to live with my eyes wide open, no matter how much pain rippled through me from that.

I am embracing what I want as a friend, in a home, from a career, what I am willing to sacrifice & find a middle ground with in a relationship. I am growing unbelievably strong on how to find my alignment. 

What is your truth? What moves you? What inspires you to be the best you can be? What fills you up to tears with gratitude? What do you want to give to this world? What is your walking away point?

Ever wonder how to even start finding that out? I was there, not long ago, I get it. Reach out, I’ll tell you some ways that worked for me, and some that didn’t. You choose to take what you need, and leave what you don’t. 

What is my truth? That’s what I’ve been learning this year. Experiences I didn’t quite understand how I had fallen into, that unraveled into fulfilling lessons- as hard hard hard as they were, beyond necessary.

My truth, as an ever growing being: 

Health– access to food that makes me feel good eating it, coffee that warms me & is good for this earth, tea that detoxes me, & being able to get around on foot.

Movement– a space that I can practice yoga & feel the effortlessness in it, getting lost in the outdoors. 

Rest– books that I can lose myself in, sleep that leaves me refreshed, safe & cozy space to relax, a sanctuary. 

Service- giving back, connecting to my spirituality, sharing, writing, mentoring, any single way I can give back a little of what you might need.

Community– an area with like minded people to sit & have conversations that matter, access to reach my best friends when I lose my sh*t, and my mom my mom my mom my actual other half. 

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All of this, all of the above, when aligned leads me to clarity on what I want as a future, what will make me give the most to this world. Make me the best friend, best partner. Which is the purpose of it all really, how can I show up the best to myself, & to my people? How can I make this place a little easier, a little less confusing. 

Don’t ask what the world needs. Ask what makes you come alive and go do it. Because what the world needs is more people who have come alive – Howard Thurman.

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In order to do that, I must stop swimming up stream, I must climb out of the river when the current is too strong and walk a little.

When you’re out of alignment, you’ll know, so find that strength & courage and climb out for a little & walk. 

That is what twenty five has been about. Learning to climb out and try something different before getting back in and swimming again.  

I’d be lying if I said I wasn’t ecstatic & petrified of twenty six..

“Do not pray for an easy life, pray for the strength to endure a difficult one.”

My tarot for the year is the high priestess – & such ahh such beauty in that. 

stay tuned..

“Stay afraid, but do it anyway. What’s important is the action. You don’t have to wait to be confident. Just do it and eventually the confidence will follow.” – Carrie Fisher

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