Rest and be thankful my loves.

“You simply will not be the same person two months from now after consciously giving thanks each day for the abundance that exists in your life. And you will have set in motion an ancient spiritual law: the more you have and are grateful for, the more will be given you” ~ Sarah Ban Breathnack

Thanksgiving last year, I was in the darkest place I can ever remember being. I was coping fullsizerender-7with my grandmother passing a mere two months prior, and the holidays had finally reached. I had to dive into family activities alone, being that my mom was finishing her time in jail, for an addiction she truly couldn’t beat at the time.fullsizerender-6

I was full of anxiety of how I’d be able to endure a family dinner without my grandmother and my mother there. I truly was suffocating. However, it was through that immense struggle of continuous mountains to climb that I came out on the other side stronger than I can ever thank the universe for.

The picture above is just 1 of 100 I took during those two weeks of internal struggles to leave my bed. It is fun to look back on them once and awhile, and see the growth, and the cuteness of me and kitty girl!

This year, its so incredibly important for me to acknowledge and share what I’m thankful for and what that process looked like for me. Because 2016 was a year to be damn thankful for.

This year, I feel the most thankful for the struggles and the lessons. I am living in a beautiful house that finally feels like home, with an absolutely beautiful woman. I am close to all of the people that mean the most to me, I share inspiring and beautiful conversation every single day, and I have this beautiful outlet to share my lessons and inspiration with all of you who believe in my content. Life has never been better to me, but I can promise you I had to go through truly challenging trails the last year to reach this point. On Thanksgiving last year while journaling, there was nothing left to give, and I remember writing”I surrender” over and over again. I surrendered to whatever the universe wanted to hand me, and trusted that I would make it out on the other side even if I had to crawl my way there. fullsizerender_11So please, if you are going through the darkness right now, reach out to me, or let my words inspire you the way my friends inspired me out of the darkness. It didn’t always feel like a fast process out, and there were speed bumps along the way, but every single day when I woke up, I took  a small stride towards happiness. Someone who grew to be really essential in my life, told me when I was going through that dark period,take a walk outside for 20 minutes everyday, no matter how hard it was, and I did. And for me, that was the slow stride I needed to get back to the person I wanted to me. Dr. Long, I am forever thankful for your guidance through that period and the wisdom you still share with me.

I hope next year, you can write a letter of all the aspects of your life you’re genuinely thankful for, and the happiness you feel for all the mountains you climbed.

This is my list of gratitude:

My beautiful and brilliant momma is almost a year and a half sober, for the first time since she was 14. WHAT AN ACCOMPLISHMENT! Not only is she sober, but taking care of herself and me is the most important part of her life now. She’s the first woman I w
ant to speak to now when I feel like my world is becoming too messy, a fortune I have never had before. This year I am most THANKFUL to spend the holidays with himg_38141er laughter and smile.

My incredible father is nearly three years sober. He’s struggled more than anyone I know with staying a float with his sobriety, but he is kicking butt this time around, and is in such a healthy and happy place. This is the first time both of my parents have been sober in my WHOLE life. They coexist so beautifully together, and both have my back no matter what! I am THANKFUL for a holiday knowing both of my parents are safe and healthy.

My img_3800incredibly encouraging grandparents have always been there to motivate and support me. Not only this year, but every year since I’ve been born, they did everything they could to make my life easier and rewarding. I am thankful for them always, but especially this year while allowing me to get ahead while living with them. I love you both so much.  Thanks for putting the travel bug in me at such a young age!

 

My four best friends, and that they came out of  the tangles my life was in.

Brittany, you’ve had my back for longer than I can remember, and I am so thankful that from last year, we share even more genuine time together. You truly are my otherimg_87851 half, my soul mate. I could not be as strong and as balanced, without your guidance and your voice in my head at all times. You’re the most graceful and kind person I have ever met, and I am so blessed to have a soul like you in my life to be the reminder I need of those beautiful characteristic when I find myself falling short. I love you endlessly.

Dana and Breesha, thank you for scooping me up this time last year and never letting me go. You girls truly dusted me off more times than I actually can recall, and put me back on my two feet. You never lost faith in my fullsizerender1journey or patience in my pace of learning at times. I love you both more than you’ll ever know. This picture was captured the night these girls became a huge part of my world. I hadn’t left the house in two weeks, and decided to get myself together and go out to see the beautiful Dana sing her beautiful lyrics. Boy am I ever thankful I took the leap that night. 

Jacklyn, you’ve been through it all with me, ten year! But this year you’ve become my backbone more than ever. You are truly the best friend to have, and sharing life with you is everything to me. You are always an escape I look img_87381forward to taking. I look forward to forever with you. I love you.

I am forever thankful of these four girls, and owe them everything. These four engulfed me during the darkest and messiest period of my life, and truly lifted me back into this journey of life. I’m sure it wasn’t always easy going through the difficult days with me, and I thank you four for not giving up on me.

I am further more thankful for all of the truly inspiring and beautiful people I’ve met along the way. I feel I have met an army of souls filled with strength and inspiration, and I am so thankful to have had the ability to attract so many good souls into my world. You all influence and inspire me more than you know, and will forever have slivers of my heart!

 

Please remember, you got this; I believe in you, I believe in me. xo

Happy Thanksgiving, all of you beautiful people. Go spread some HAPPINESS!

listen. i wish i could tell you it gets better.

but. it doesnt get better. you get better.

-joan rivers.

 

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